selfburn | Open RP Post

He shook his head slightly because he did not want to dislodge Essek's fingers from his hair. It was a favorite sensation of his, soothing when done gently and arousing when rougher. He could understand why it would be considered intimate in another culture.

"I spent a long time fighting the urge to touch you," he admitted as he brushed his fingers lightly along the back of Esske's neck. "Even a touch of your hand felt like an indulgence. Now that you have allowed me the privilege I feel I'll never stop."

Even if it was as simple as a touch of his hand to Essek's. Caleb greatly enjoyed the indulgence.

"I know you don't sleep as I do but would you like to join me tonight in my room?" He did not necessarily mean sex. Caleb would like to fall asleep with Essek in his arms if that was allowed. At least until he fell asleep and Essek needed to meditate.

Those little touches are things that Essek craves because he came from a world where it had not really been acceptable. The Dynasty had never been perfect by any stretch and children raised by the Den, as was the case with himself and Verin whom he loved dearly. He would confide in Caleb these things, perhaps even tonight if Caleb would let him.

"Well, I do have a preferred mode of trancing..." which as Caleb had seen some of Aeor as well as within the Blooming Grove had been a criss-cross applesauce type deal, where his body lightly hummed. He considered Caleb and allowed his fingers to massage at the scalp, treating Caleb like a beloved cat with the way his fingers lightly danced.

"I can trance in a horizontal position too so we can in essence 'sleep' together as such-- as long as you do not mind the humming."

The humming was the part that could not be stopped, it came with the package.

"I was only thinking you'd stay as long as it took me to fall asleep," he explained as his eyes drifted shut and his voice dropped lower. It must be deliberate this seduction. Why else would Essek do this to him? "I would like to fall asleep with you in my arms but I understand our needs are different. I don't want you uncomfortable."

The humming did not bother him. He might even find it soothing to have nearby. It would reassure him that Essek was near and he was not alone.

"It is one of those things we will have to figure out together." He blinked his eyes open trying to focus when Essek was so thoroughly undoing him. He was soothed by the touch but also ached for more.

Essek was a natural or simply knew him well enough to make him melt so easily.

Perhaps it was deliberate, these touches. Perhaps he wanted Caleb to feel pleasure, perhaps he desired to spoil the other man just a little bit. For all that Essek could be reserved, when he made up his mind about something-- his decisiveness was unparcelled. Once he had decided that Caleb Widogast was his, once he had realized that he was Caleb's? It made this so much easier to touch, to caress and pet.

He wanted all of those things with the other wizard.

"If we pass the night in bed, I would be there when you wake up-- you know." He said in a tone of voice that was gentle and soft. The perch that he held was perhaps the best seat in the Tower and he was not so inclined to give it up. "In both our needs, we are perfectly aligned?" and then he stopped the touch, but only so that he could once again tilt Caleb's head so that they could exchange a look.

"It is alright to want things and to ask for them, especially with me. Because I want to give you those things, I want to be here with you. I want to sleep in bed with you and I ah, well I would be open to other things in a bed as well. What matters though is that we are together in thse things and our wants"

"I am not used to wanting." Caleb paused and shook his head slightly. "No, I am not used to having what I want. I am very familiar with wanting things. It's rare I've let myself have them."

He leaned up enough to kiss him gently. Soft and slow. He let himself want and have. It was another step forward, another change that signaled Caleb would be a new, different man. One that would let himself have instead of denying.

"I feel it is time we left the table to settle somewhere more comfortable," he said softly as he drew away. He would let Essek decide if that was the couch or his bedroom.

With grace, the drow slid from Caleb's lap and then offered his hand to the other man, his dark indigo eyes backlit with little flecks of starry gold seemed to ripple underneath the soft lights of hearth and amber glow of lights. Essek knew that Caleb had a struggle with denying himself, but he did not want Caleb to think that he had to-- and thus he gave those fingers a squeeze after having caught them again.

"Let us settle on the couch before the fire, yes? We can ask each other more questions and perhaps I can use gravity to work some of the tension from your shoulders?"

It was a sweet offer, for just as Caleb wanted to make things comfortable for him-- Essek shared the same sweet goal and that was to give Caleb something that he could call his own; without having to ask for it. There were things that would have to be asked for, but until that crucial point, Essek would endeavor to prove to Caleb that he belonged there, that they belonged together held in the circle of each other's arms.

He took Essek's hand immediately and without hesitation. If it wasn't clear he would follow this man to the very ends of the world if he asked and held out his hand. But once he was on his feet he led the way to the couch.

Caleb sat first and let Essek decide if he wanted to sit in his lap or next to him against his side. "You are welcome to try. I've been told I'm terrible at relaxing and having a good time."

Beau told him that many times on their journey. Jester too. Most of his friends were concerned by how he struggled to relax. He felt relaxed now, especially with Essek so close and so willing to touch. He's always glad for that.

"I cannot promise I won't distract you," he said, leaning in to nuzzle at him again. "You have opened the door and I don't know if it can be closed."

"My ridiculous wizard man." Essek chuckled softly as he once again took the best seat in the house, which was on Caleb's lap. His weight was well modulated and evenly distributed, and as Caleb sat there underneath him, he shifted to adjust and then brought his fingers to Caleb's shoulders.

Those tense shoulders, he'd noticed where Caleb kept his tension; evidenced in the times that he'd seem him slouch. Well, not tonight-- and so as he sat there, his fingers started to subtly vibrate with energy, and then he slowly started to rub and knead his fingers right into skin, starting near the ball of Caleb's shoulders and then working his way inward.

"I am not used to such closeness, Caleb Widogast-- and it is because of my upbringing; when I grew up in Den Thelyss, it was a 'it takes a village' to raise all the children, even though myself and my brother were the sons of the Umavi; well when I was born, I was a new soul, and thus I was never given the priority that my brother Verin was or other old souls born into the Den, it made me a bit cold I suppose." he hummed as he worked out a particularly tense muscle in that shoulder. "You and the Nein though showed me that I did not have to be an island of myself."

"Yes, yours." There was no point in denying it. Caleb had given himself heart and soul to Essek before now. He let his head fall back against the couch to watch Essek above him. He was such a gorgeous sight. He could get used to this. Wanted to get used to this and have it be familiar. He wanted it to be his life.

Their life.

"I would be honored to help you find you warmth," he said as he stroked his fingers along Essek's leg. "And to know what it is to be treasured and adored. Loved. Because you are. Not just by me though the Nein love you in a different way."

He imagined none of them wanted to kiss Essek or bed him the way Caleb did. They all had their own lovers. Caduceus excluded. This was all his.

Essek looked down at Caleb, at the sincere look in his eyes-- those beautiful cerulean that wore emotions and feelings upon their sleeves, and his eyes softened as he leaned in and then slowly and lightly nibbled at that lower lip, his fingers still stroking against shoulders however he allowed himself to succumb to the feel of Caleb's mouth underneath him.

The warmth that suffused his wizard, the invitation to be each other's home. He could feel himself hum but for a far different way and he used that same gravity to press Caleb back, however this time? The gravity would serve a far different purpose. That gravity was in the pressure of his mouth, the subtle crisp coolness of his tongue like drinking from a spring water, a quenching of thirst,

That gravity evidenced in such a way that it was clear that Essek was not going anywhere for the time being, that he would perch in that lap, resolved to bring his wizard pleasure.

Caleb made a pleased sound against Essek's mouth. He had picked up kissing easily enough. That brilliant mind of his clearly applied to more than just magic. The things they could teach each other... the things they could explore... the possibilities were limitless.

He took a firm hold of Essek's hips and pulled him closer as he surged up and deepened the kiss. While Essek's kisses were cool and meant to refresh, Caleb was hunger and heat. The want that he had previously denied himself unfurled in each press of his lips and the slide of his tongue against Essek's.

He bit at his lower lip then soothed the bite with the tip of his tongue. Oh, the taste of him filled Caleb's senses and made it dizzying. So much for talking and getting to know each other.

Their individual realms of learned expertise were gravity and fire; oh they were forces to be reckoned with; two men who were often times very circumspect and deliberate in their actions, but underneath the surface they were forces of nature; unavoidable. Together, they created shooting stars, or new galaxies. Essek should've known that it would come to this between them.

But he was not displeased by it, in fact he melted against Caleb as their lips collided- There was nothing about Essek that was hesitant. If Caleb wanted to consume him, then he would respond in kind- he would not temper himself, nor deny himself that he wanted those taste of lips.

Against Caleb's mouth, like he was biting fruit, he cupped that jaw and explored eagerly but patiently, the warmth drawing him like a moth to the flame and there was rather enthusiastic consent in this for Caleb. They had time and they had this right now, and if they wanted to collide, it had only ever been a build up to this moment.

This inevitability.

It felt like he had been waiting for this since he saw Essek again. He let himself get pulled into Essek's gravity. He let himself fall fully for the man in his lap.

Caleb wrapped his arms tight around him and pushed him back against the couch letting his weight push Essek down against the plush cushions. His hair fell around them blocking the rest of the world from view.

Everything was Essek's lips against his and hands gently roaming over his body. "I will get to know you, I swear," Caleb murmured as he trailed his mouth along Essek's jaw. "I want to hear every detail but it's hard to concentrait when I want this..."

Caleb made his point by biting at a soft spot between Essek's jaw and neck. "As badly as I wish to know you."

A soft and low moan; he could've adjusted his gravity to make this switch impossible though for as much as Essek enjoyed control-- he wanted this just as much, and so as Caleb's weight alighted down upon him he reached for Caleb's hand so that he could twine their fingers together in contact that was poignant and emotional. He wanted the physical side, but only if it was emotional like this-- in fact he had little care for actions like this that did not possess meaning behind them.

"I want you too, Chathiu.. I have never wanted anything like this until you." His skin nipped, he parted his legs so that Caleb could settle between them comfortably, he was stroking against shoulders-- against chest as he hummed a litany of his own desire for the wizard. Using soft circling touches against clothed flesh to keep Caleb in this moment with him.

"Please Caleb.." he murmured as his hands moved into those locks of flame and then he pulls backward-- to dislodge mouth from his neck but only so that his own lips can find a space just over collar and then he nips down gently with teeth, grabs and starts worrying it lovingly with skin caught.

Not enough to hurt, but just enough to leave a mark that may heal up before the next meeting of the Nein, unless more were requested in which case Essek would gladly provide if a reminder was needed.

Essek could leave all the marks he wanted. Caleb only moaned softly as his teeth worked against his skin. Let the Nein see them as well. He had no care in the world except to give Essek what he wanted.

"We should perhaps go to my room," he panted, his eyes closed tightly for a second. He opened them and looked down at Essek. "As romantic as the firelight is we should have a bed and... and comfort for this."

The couch was nice. Caleb had made all the furniture in the Tower comfortable but they were tightly fit and half sliding off even as they touched and kissed.

"If you want to continue this further, I mean." He ducked his head again and kissed the corner of Essek's mouth. "We can stay here if this is as far as you wish to go tonight."

Oh, how Essek loved Caleb. Loved him with every fibre of his being, the gentle way he responded to affection, allowing him to muddle his way through this. Despite Essek's poise, he did not want to-- disappoint Caleb with his glaring lack of experience. He could be an adept student.

Essek did not even touch himself regularly the way that others did; if he had to take himself in hand he did but those thoughts had never strayed much further beyond kissing Caleb Widogast, such things that perhaps were innocuous and innocent, a hand kiss-- that cheek kiss in grove.

"I would like to go further, Caleb-- perhaps in matters like these, you may be the teacher and I the student?" he pressed a kiss back against that lower lip and then leaned up to rest their foreheads together. "I trust you, and also-- this feels natural because I have such deep feelings for you; if I did not-- this would not be a possibility in the slightest."

It was hard to believe he, Caleb Widogast, was so important to Essek Thelyss. Brilliant, beautiful, and trying to be better Essek wanted him to teach him about physical intimacy and loving someone like this. It was a gift and made Caleb feel incredibly tender.

And a little unworthy.

"I will do my best to be as good a teacher as you were to me." He trailed his fingers against Essek's cheek and kissed him again before he drew back from the cradle of his legs. He felt a chill creep in without Essek pressed against him and offered him a hand.

"Would you care to join me in my room for a private lesson, Essek?" he asked in his more formal tone of voice but there was a playful, warm look in his eyes and a hint of a smile teasing the corners of his mouth.

"I would be happy to, my handsome Professor."

A sparkle came to those indigo eyes, flecked with the warm amber glow of backlight that sometimes had those eyes looking particularly cat-like, especially in dark light, a call-back to his people's time in the vast Underdark. He placed his hand in Caleb's; palm to palm and he could feel the callouses of them; the fire magic that hummed under the surface and wrote Caleb's life in actions.

As if Caleb Widogast was his King and he, his consort-- Essek would go willingly with the wizard to chambers, however modest they may be. The setting did not matter, the company did. And tomorrow Essek would surprise Caleb with some lessons involving more magic, peppered in between the digging in of the artifacts gleaned from Aeor. He did not mention this however, would surprise his Chathiu with it later. ]

He laughed warmly and tugged Essek back into his arm. The kiss this time was light and warm and fun. The happiness he felt soaks into the kiss. This was the sort of happiness he had forgotten and only brought back into his with the Nein. With Essek.

Caleb led him to the elevator and floated up to the top floor never letting his hand go. He hadn't changed any of the Nein's room just in case they traveled together again. His room remained the same as well. He led Essek into the room, a fire already burning brightly in the hearth.

"If there are any changes you'd like me to make so that we will both be comfortable in this space I will happily make them." He held Essek in his arms in front of the fire place nuzzling at his cheek. "Whatever you want so that this room will be ours instead of just mine."

He wanted to carve out a space for both of them in his magical tower. Since they would be sharing the space together for the foreseeable future.

"Auf!"

Essek could not help but murmur as they ascended upwards into higher levels where the chambers were located, his arm wrapped firmly around Caleb's waist as he felt a soft chuckle bubble forth. One of his favorite things to do; perhaps one of the more human things that he could've done; even despite Caleb telling him he didn't have to 'say' it and yet Essek did just that. The top of his head fitting neatly into the crook of Caleb's neck while they rose up and with him secure there.

Now, Essek knew that Caleb's room was his sanctuary however he did notice that Essek did not put nearly much care into his room as the rest of the Tower. However there was something that perhaps he could remedy, and so with a secret smile he pressed a forefinger to Caleb's lips and then said with a smile. "I told you I had something to give you and this is the perfect time to give it to you." and then he summoned the wristpocket spell that kept essential items; a swirl of purple energy that swept into an arching curve. He pulled out two objects and then dismissed the pocket dimension.

There in his hand was two little stones carved in the likeness of cats, one set with a little amethyst and the other with amber, he handed the one with amethyst to Caleb then. "Sending stones.. I had these made specially for the two of us. They function underneath a cantrip due to the conduction of the stones coupled with the charge of a Tethered Essence spell, so it can be used without limit."

And they were decorative enough that when not in use, they could perch on Caleb's desk like a reminder of the one who may be far away but who loved him ridiculously.

"Oh!" Caleb let go of Essek to take the cat statuette into his hands. He held it up and could not stop the smile that spread over his face. It was an adorable variation on sending stones, clearly designed with care and a personal touch. "Essek..."

He stroked his fingers tenderly over the cheeks of the stone cat like one would pet a real cat. "I will treasure this. Always." He paused to laugh at himself. "And I would love to hear how you combined a cantrip with Tethered Essence. One would think the more powerful spell would overwhelm the other and make the whole enchantment unstable."

His mind was already working through how he might manage the same thing as he brought the little cat stone over to the desk in the room and set it right at the stop in the center. His first urge was to put it by his bedside but that was foolish when the man himself was in the room. He didn't need a reminder of Essek watching over him when the man was right there.

Caleb walked back towards Essek also thinking about what sort of gift he would give Essek in return. Perhaps a pair of journals where the writing in one would show up in the other so they could theorize all the time together? He was thinking of that when he took Essek's face in his hands and kissed him slowly.

"I love you," he murmured, a giddy rush going through him with the words.

Essek had been about ready to launch into the 'how's' of what he'd done. Prepared to even, especially when he'd seen Caleb's impressed eye when he saw it. Self-indulgent spellwork on his part, and he'd done quite a bit with it-- had some time with which to concentrate on these things while he had gotten himself settled in Emon where he had resolved make his new 'home' when he was not with Caleb. Though to be honest, he was also willing to allow Caleb to see his spellbook; a wizard's most treasured grimoire that held all of their personalized secrets.

However, the enjoyment that Caleb evidenced in regards to the sending cats, well they had him flushing a little bit darker within the cheeks, and then he tilted his head to the side when Caleb's hand cupped his cheek and he was kissed.

The dunamancer lost all apparent grasp of logic and reason as he felt his lips softly pulled in gravity toward Caleb's own; that mouth like strange fire and how slow it rippled through him, like honey. It was a sensual kiss and he felt drugged for it, his voice coming out breathlessly as he placed his hands gently against Caleb's hips just above where tunic was belted.

"I love you too, Caleb Widogast-- very dearly."

"I never imagined I would love again." Caleb took Essek by both hands and led him to the edge of the bed. He sat and coaxed the drow into his lap. It was quickly becoming his favorite way to sit with Essek. It allowed Caleb plenty of freedom to move and plenty of Essek to kiss.

"The Nein," he murmured as he trailed kisses along Essek's neck. "They cracked me open but you, Essek, you tore everything down. You left me no choice but to love you."

In a way vastly different from the love Caleb felt for the Nein. Because he did love them. He loved Veth. He loved Beau. But what he felt for Essek was consuming. It pulled him in and now he could not escape. He did not want to. Not anymore.

"May I undress you?" he asked, skating his hands under the edge of Essek's collar, rough fingers catching slightly on the smooth fabric.

There had been care that Essek had taken with dressing this day but it was very simple. Far simpler than previous garments that the Nein had seen him wear, the tunic was a thing that laced up and then could be pulled over his head, trousers that could be slipped over hips and he had already removed his boots and mantle upon entering the tower. He settled there, the appropriate weight-- not having lightened himself for the wizard however he had neither adjusted his gravity to be heavier as he had done in the Grove to ease Caleb's anxiety.

It was not that he had been planning for such an eventuality but he very well had felt the tug between them, the gravity-- first in Aeor, and then in the Grove and it had led them to this moment. Before then even; even though Caleb perhaps thought it had been fast; Essek could only remember moments within the past year that had led him to wanting this, to yearning for this brilliant wizard man.

A palm that stroked lightly against the beard offered to him, a kiss dropped down to the soft full lips encircled by facial hair, nibbling softly. "Yes, you may undress me and prepare me for bed, Chathiu." even in Aeor he had been hesitant to show flesh but he trusted Caleb enough to give him this intimacy.

Caleb laughed softly as he tugged at the laces, slow and steady pressure so the ties came undone and loosened. "Don't expect to meditate just yet," he said warmly, playfully, as he deliberately brushed his fingers between the laces as he worked them looser and looser.

"I do have preparations in mind but they don't deal with sleep." When the laces were loose enough for Caleb's liking he slid his hands under the edges of the tunic and eased it up and over Essek's head.

His eyes roamed over all the skin freshly revealed to him as the tunic fluttered to the floor. It was obvious why Caleb called him starlight. Essek was the sky at dusk. He ran his hand over his chest marveling at the smoothness and soft warmth under his palm. His hands felt big and clumsy, too rough to touch someone like Essek.

The privilege. The gift. It struck Caleb all over again just how dear he must be to Essek to be allowed this. For Essek to want him like this. It was dizzying.

Perhaps he should be more respectful for this but he didn't stop himself from leaning in to latch his mouth on Essek's neck. He bit with his teeth and sucked at the skin caught up in a wildly possessive moment. Caleb spread his hands across Essek's back as he marked him doing his best to wholly encompass the man.

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