selfburn | Open RP Post

I will be there. I swear it.

There's not much Caleb needed to get ready. He was ready to leave in hours and could barely focus beyond thinking about seeing Essek again. Beau knew something was up with him. It didn't take her long to put it together.

Even her teasing couldn't dampen his excitement. He would see Essek again. At last, he would see Essek again.

The day after tomorrow came and Caleb was there with a pack of supplies, a new coat, and his hair slightly longer. He hoped he didn't look too eager but he was. He was.

Essek had gotten his own things together effortlessly and in preparation for the journey. His clothes were well worn travel-ready, the finery of the Dynasty replaced by clothing that while practical, were still stylish and suited him, a warm fur-lined cloak that would assist in protecting from the elements.

When he came in view of Caleb, his pace quickened within his graceful float, a smile curved over his lips and he paused right in front of Caleb and offered a warm smile, the sparkle of his eyes could not be tempered even by the cold.

"It appears that being the bane of the Assembly's existance suits you immeasurably."

A wry smile and a tease. He had been worried it would be awkward to meet up after so long but all that he could feel was relief to finally see Caleb again.

He looked so much more at ease. That was Caleb's first thought when he spotted Essek. So much more comfortable in his own skin. It made him even more handsome than Caleb had remembered and his memory was rather good.

"You know my tendency towards chaos and making trouble." Caleb reached for his hands and held them in his own squeezing them. "I have missed you, mein Sternenlicht."

If Essek was going to call him some sweet nickname in his native tongue then Caleb would do the same in return. His starlight. His night sky. Maybe it was presumptuous to think so possessively but it was how he thought of him.

Essek tucked and filed the endearment away for later, so that he could ask what it meant, just as perhaps he would tell Caleb exactly why he picked the word 'Chathiu' his Firefly for Caleb Widogast. The feel of glove covered hands squeezing his own and he returned it softly.

Eseek's own hair was a bit longer on the front, his hair less perfectly coiffed than it had been, but the undercut was still there at the back which the cloak would definitely protect from the colder elements of Aeor.

"Shall we head in and see what mysteries await us?"

Essek dropped one hand from their joined touch however he did not have the heart to lower the other and so he kept that hand held within, and right now? They did not have to part for anything save to rummage around ruins searching for lost arcana and hidden books, relics of a dynasty laid waste by hubris.

"I have missed you as well, I cannot wait to have an opportunity to hear how you've been and indeed, I will gladly tell you of my own comings and goings."

"Tonight when we rest in the Tower I'll tell you everything."

It wasn't just the Academy or the Empire or the Volstruckers Caleb had worked to protect. He did his best to make sure Essek's identity was never discovered. It called on skills he hadn't used in a long time but they hadn't faded.

That was business for later.

Right now they got to disappear into unexplored lands. They couldn't hold hands the whole time. Climbing and exploring meant they had to let go eventually but they never strayed far from each other. Caleb kept Essek in sight, especially exploring ruins where the likelihood of traps and danger doubled.

But they still worked well together. Caleb felt buoyed by the fact that even after all this time it felt like much hadn't changed between them except they were more willing to touch and Caleb was much more open with his flirtations.

Their first time through Aeor, they'd had to hold themselves back from the knowledge that it contained and it had been on Essek to try to temper that. Oh, he'd been tempted beyond all shadows of a doubt, his fingers had itched for that which lay within. What boundless secrets did such tomes hide away? And it was there that Essek had made that promise to Caleb, that they could return together, and they had.

The air was cold however they returned to the Genesis Ward regardless and started their purposeful looting of the ancient civilization, so that they could hopefully preserve such knowledge. Aeor may only take a few days of exploration, but Essek could tell that they would have material to pour over for months, if not years.

It was hard not to open scrolls here or there to read, and if he found something enlightening, he'd walk over to Caleb so that he could share with him a particularly intriguing morsel of information. Here, they were able to just exist-- to be themselves, and to succumb to those light flirtation.

Toward the end of the day, after they'd cleared out the room, Essek wandered into the T-dock chamber. Eerily silent, he had gleaned enough to know what this did-- a dangerous call of knowledge. He recognized it; Time may have been his specialty however this went beyond that.

There was so much to read just from this one trip. They have hours of research ahead of them and they've only explored a fraction of the Genesis Ward. There's no telling what lays deeper within besides more mystery and more joy of discovering it with Essek.

He was somewhat silent as he approached Essek on the T-dock. He stopped a little ways behind him, worry and doubt gnawing at him a touch.

"Do you think it would be worth it to go back and change things?" That had been Caleb's goal for so long. He had firmly focused on that singular goal for so long. Somehow fix what he had been made to do. Bring his parents back. Stop himself from killing them. Stop himself from going to the Academy. It was all he wanted for so, so long.

And he didn't want it anymore. Caleb had come to terms with the brutal actions of his past. He had found a measure of peace with them. He had found healing and better goals to drive him on.

He wasn't sure if Essek was there yet. It was not an easy path to walk.

The power was tempting; of course it was. The ability to go back and change things, mistakes made. He could've wiped his entire association with the Cereberus Assembly away with a single sweep, but what other temptations would come to him from that moment and further on. He allowed his fingertips to glide against the control panel filled with unlit buttons like stars of possibility.

Behind him, he heard Caleb's question which focused him back to the present. When he spoke, it was soft-- but even here within the chamber, the sound carried. "I think that it is very tempting to someone like me, to go back and correct my mistakes but." and then he turned to face Caleb. "I feel that every mistake that I have made has led me to this moment with you so I cannot truly regret them."

He drew himself up a little bit as he glanced over his shoulder at the dock and all that it possesed. "I would not change a single thing, Caleb Widogast." and then he walked to Caleb and placed his hand on his shoulder, it was a firm weight-- the barest hint of gravity. "But, if this is an avenue that you want to pursue, I will assist you, I will help you."

Essek was offering both partnership and accountability, as well as an avenue of safety; a precious gift indeed.

Caleb smiled slowly his eyes wandering over Essek's features that were so dear to him. He put his hands on Essek's hips and gently pulled him closer. As had become something of a custom between them Caleb rested his forehead against Essek's. "No. The only avenue I wish to pursue is to know you better."

The wonders of the Aeor paled in comparison. Caleb will always love knowledge and the pursuit of it but there were many wonders right in front of him contained in this man. He would be a fool not to spend time discovering them.

"The past will remain the past," he said firmly. "We have risen above it. I would see this room destroyed so no one else is tempted to use it for ill."

The temptation was there, of course. A part of Caleb was shrieking about destroying such a wonderous creation of magic and power. There were techniques here that would revolutionize modern transmutation not to mention dunamancy. And he was willing to burn it all down.

Essek knew what this meant to Caleb, that dark part of the other wizard's past that even Essek could not comprehend fully; a past made up in those slashes on forearms and the glimmer of haunted in those blue eyes, like shadows underneath the surface of oceans-- truly unknowable. And he was proud of Caleb, of them; his fingers moved to cup against that jawline as their foreheads touched together.

"This is but one avenue of study, out of many paths we've collected today; there will be no end to the possibilities between us." and Essek meant that both figuratively as well as literally. Books that had been gathered today, scrolls and blueprints that they could piece together; decimating this dock was only but a droplet that would never touch the bucket.

A kiss then, very soft and very brief. Perhaps a bit shy, the first they'd had since the Blooming Grove and then he slipped to the side and a little bit behind Caleb and gave a nod of assent. However his hand slipped around Caleb's waist as he kept that contact firm and with an unspoken promise that he was here by the other wizard's side; ready to offer support no matter what feelings came from the destruction of the T-Dock.

Caleb drew them back out of the room completely before he gently took Essek's hand off his hip. He drew a bit of string coated in phosphorus from his pocket and wove it around his fingers. He spoke the words under his breath, the string catching and burning before he slammed his hands down on the ground.

A web of fire appeared around him briefly before it converged into one powerful fissure that raced across the ground. It struck the center of the dock and burned through metal and controls until everything was glowing hot and melting together into an unrecognizable mass. Even the etchings on the floor in the path of the spell were melted or scorched beyond recognition.

He stood slowly with a deep breath, string falling as ash from his fingers. Caleb eyed his handiwork and felt some metaphorical weight lift from his shoulders. One more temptation to sink into that dark past gone. There is only the bright future with his starlight.

Caleb brushes the ash from his fingers before he takes Essek's hand again.

"I am proud of you." Essek murmurs as he entwines his fingers with Caleb's. It was hard, oh he knew how hard it was to led go of that line of possibility-- to see it burned to nothing; if it was an avenue that they wanted to further pursue then they had scrolls, books and records with which to research further. But the temptation was laid to rest.

More importantly, he was proud of them.

The drow then lifts Caleb's hand to his lips and presses a soft kiss against the warmth of fingertips, as if he is uttering a secret that was meant only for the transmutation wizard. And his heart felt close to constricting, by the wealth of emotions that lay within him for this man. Certainly time had only served to strengthen that warmth, instead of diminishing it.

Whatever was in that T-Dock held not the sway that this energy that lay between them did. And if he'd a choice presented to him, he'd choose those intense cerulean blue eyes every single time, unfailingly. "I am wondering though.." he tried to bring some levity to the situation as he tugged Caleb in a bit closer, "How appropriate it is to kiss one's... dear friend.. in ruins forgotten by time? Care to cast scholarly weight to this, Caleb Widogast?"

"For scholarly purposes, I propose we find out." Caleb slid his arm firmly around Essek's waist and pulled him flush against his body. Bold, yes, but he had been bold once. He had been brave and fearless about his feelings. He could find that again under the right circumstances. With the right person. With Essek as he discovered so many things about himself with the other wizard.

He dipped his head down and pressed his lips firmly, with purpose, against Essek's. This was not the gentle brush of lips they had shared before. This was not the same kiss as in the Grove so long ago. This was a kiss that kept a promise and offered more. Offered all of himself to Essek if the other man wanted him, damaged goods that he was.

"You are a dear friend, yes," Caleb said when he drew back. He stayed close enough that every word brushed against Essek's lips. "But you are so much more to me, Essek. You must know that my feelings for you are more than mere friendship."

Caleb searched Essek's eyes, hoping and knowing, that he would see his own feelings reflected back at him. Trusting he would see the very same. A side of Essek others did not get to see. For him and only him.

The moment that Essek was pulled into those arms, he went willingly. The kiss in the grove had been a sweet gentle thing, as soft as the burgeoning emotions between them- tasting of uncertain hope and relief, of a tiny ember with the encouragement of growing into itself patiently. With what had been shared in the Grove, it was a kiss to reflect the emotions of the moment perfectly.

Conversely this kiss, it stole the very breath from his lungs with it. It was like the spice of warm apples, of an autumn's evening spent in front of a hearth fire, and it caused warmth to surge through him irrevocably. It was hard to leave that kiss and he attempted to follow it as much as was possible, and when Caleb's lips pulled away and his eyes opened so that he could look into those eyes whereupon Caleb would see that what glowed there was an abiding sort of love; the first time he'd ever felt such an emotion.

And it was offered like the most precious of pearls to the other Wizard.

"I am in love with you, Caleb. And it's only grown stronger; I know this because I do not feel these things easily." Essek knew they could make this work, the two of them. Despite whatever outside forces pushed and pulled. "I feel your lips and I feel like it is home to me, your arms are home to me and I did not realize it until you held me for the first time."

"Essek..." Caleb choked on emotions for a second. Loved again, like this, he never imagined he'd have it after what he'd done. It settles in his chest like a precious gift, one to keep and tend to and let grow. To remember when they are apart. "I love you too."

Because he does. It had been the moment when he pulled Essek into his protection. The thought of losing him or seeing him fall was impossible to fathom. He knew in that moment how precious, how incredible, Essek was to him.

"I love you." He said it again because he could. Caleb laughed warmly and kissed Essek over and over, the joy bubbling over into the action. He gathered him up into his arms and lifted him off his feet for all of second before he had to put him down.

His strength really is nothing but the happiness is undeniable.

He was able to sit with it, had sat with his feelings for once in his life and dissected his feelings for the other man. He was used to doing so, when he was tranced and used that precious time to file those moments and experiences into boxes, and he'd found that every single thing associated with Caleb was carefully laid into a coffer made of sunset colours.

The exact moment where the sun dipped into twilight and set the horizon alight like flames settling into purple and then dissolving into stars.

When he was picked up, he did a very brief gravity adjustment so the strain was not too much on the other wizard, only a fraction though so that it would be barely noticible amid the excitement. His arms settled around Caleb's shoulders where he inhaled the scents of ink, parchment and embers.

"Would you like to put a bookmark in Aeor for today? I may have a gift that I want to give you-- and also, I think I may be able to hear your stomach rumbling?" a gentle reminder that even though Caleb may have forgotten certain needs, Essek hadn't.

"You are my gift. I don't need anything else." Caleb pressed one more kiss to Essek's cheek before he drew back enough to cast his Tower. A home they'll share for tonight and for however long they are alone on the road. Perhaps in the future they'll share a real home instead of a magical one. He was getting ahead of himself though.

He took Essek's hand in his and led him through the door to the warm interior which was changed slightly to be better suited to two people instead of the Nein. The dining area was changed to be more intimate and there was a sitting area with a comfortable couch and chairs. Suited to two instead.

In the shelter of the Tower Caleb finally shed the layers that protected him from the cold outside. While he had long sleeves on his tunic he no longer wore the bandages to hide his scars. He was comfortable enough to take his hair up in a loose bun on top of his head.

The cat servants still remain, of course and are eagerly waiting to take their outerwear and get them dinner.

Perhaps Caleb did not need anything else but there happened to be something tucked into his wristpocket which he would remove with a little bit of time, once they were comfortably settled. Almost immediately he noticed that the Tower seemed a bit smaller, more intimate and that was nice, it caused Essek to give that hand a squeeze before he drew away so that they could shed their outwear.

The mantle was drawn away and then he offered it to one of the cats, before he then took the other wizard's arms. The scent of firewood in the area, the intimate almost date-like setting to it. He was touched of course, the way that the lightning quick mind had transmuted this out of seemingly nothing. He gave that arm a squeeze of quiet acknowledgement then as he would lead wherever his love guided him.

Gone were the multiple layers of the Dynasty. He was covered, but the clothing simpled much simpler-- less ornate. Function and form in classic lines, though he remained garbed from head to toe.

And as he crossed the threshold, his float dissipated until he was standing at his Caleb's side and at his true height, of a perfect height where Caleb's lips could find his forehead unerringly and without leaning up or down. "Did you know, Caleb Widogast-- that this is my first proper date?"

Had he ever gone on a proper date with Astrid and Wulf? Maybe there were a few in the past. That time was mostly tainted by his memories of Trent and the torture he endured.

"I'll try to make it memorable then." He offered Essek is arm and walked him to the smaller table. He even pulled out his chair for him like a proper gentleman. Caleb sat across from him and under the table made sure his ankle touched Essek's.

Who looked beautiful in the firelight. Caleb's gaze is adoring, openly showing his feelings for Essek. They had spent so long waiting for this moment. Caleb saw no reason to hide anything now. He laid his hand on the table offering it for Essek to take.

"Do you want to do any studying of what we found tonight?" he asked while the servants brought a bottle of wine and some fresh bread and butter.

It was a bit overwhelming, but in a good way. He could feel himself heavy with the look of admiration in Caleb's eyes, but it mirrored Essek's own as he placed himself in the seat offered to him by Caleb, and then they arranged each other in a way that they orbited like two stars sharing the same axis, small little touches here and there-- and Essek's hand as it reached to place itself delicately in Caleb's.

The weight firm and certainly, Essek could feel the callouses and the warmth that surrounded his hand. His feelings were unavoidable and he would not deny them, it made it easier to acknowledge them when he looked into Caleb's blue eyes-- a visage that even though Caleb would likely deny he was beautiful? Well Essek wanted to make it known to the other man that he was lovely. Perhaps one day, Caleb would allow himself to be told that.

"We are wizards-- you know how impossible it is to fight the allure of research." however he slowly linked their fingers together, creating an impossible chain. "But we have time for that, I think. There is still much I would like to know of you, Caleb Widogast. I've tucked away so many pieces of you for my own personal knowledge but I want to learn more."

Essek wanted to study, but he wanted to study this man before him.

"You can ask me anything but I can't promise the answers will be pleasant." Caleb was a little scared, actually, to open up on such a level. Essek knew many details that painted him in a bad light but this would be the most he had talked about it with... anyone.

He brushed his thumb nervously across Essek's hand. It was tempting to ask him questions and push things away from himself but Caleb was not going to hide from the man he loved. He wasn't going to hide anymore from anyone. He couldn't truly be with someone if he was pretending all the time.

Things were safe here. That was what Caleb had to remind himself of and Essek already loved him with what he knew. Would more details of his past change that? Probably not. Hopefully not.

There was a frission of anxiety that he felt keenly, and it was not just in the answer of Caleb being pragmatic about the fact not all questions could be answered with a positive spin to it. His fingers softly met that touch, and he determined that Caleb was still one who had to be handled delicately.. and lovingly.

That was not something that Essek would forego at all within the getting-to-know process. "I think that for tonight, I would enjoy getting to know you-- your likes and dislikes, your favorite songs and your most beloved books.. those little things that build you up rather than take you down."

Those eyes meet Caleb's, warm despite the cool tones of them, and it was all in the subtle furrow of his brow as well as the subtle quirk of those lips that Caleb had kissed earlier. "Frumpkin, for example? How did you come across that name for a cat, Chathiu?"

And because he wanted to leave it open, he added on to that, "You may ask me anything you wish as well, I would like to share myself with you-- I am normally just as guarded but I trust you, even if you ask me something ridiculous."

Edited 2023-03-22 21:35 (UTC)

Frumpkin was easy enough to talk about. Caleb smiled fondly thinking of the cat and the familiar. "He was named after a cat I had as a child and looked very similar to him. I, uh, don't remember exactly how I came up with the name now but he was a dear friend to me."

That was a good memory, one that brought back sunny afternoons with his first magic books and the soft sound of Frumpkin purring next to him. Memories he would like to make new again with a real cat and a quiet home of his own. Not just a magical tower. A real home where he and Essek could live and research from.

"I would like to get a new cat some day," he said brushing his fingers over Essek's palm. "But perhaps not one named something so childish. Percival could be a good cat name."

He studied Essek for a moment, head tilted slightly. "Would you teach me Undercommon some day? I would like to speak with you in your native tongue."

"It rather sounds like Pumpkin to be honest, and Frumpkin is a stunning orange colour." Essek said with a smile though he leaned in close. There was a votive candle on the table and it cast a soft ambient light between the two of them, a warmth that Essek knew that Caleb strove to bring to all of his friends; he'd seen it within interactions with the Nein, and then with himself. He also knew that Caleb loved apple turnovers, he remembered how he'd heard Caleb explain it to the group in general and he had reached out to capture that little bit of knowledge.

And hold it close to him, another revealed morsel for him to nurse with regards to the trove of secrets he'd collected.

"Percival would be a excellent name, though I cannot imagine you without a cat-- I think that should be your first order of business, is to get yourself a cat." it was the luxuries however small that they may seem.

"Ah, Chathiu.." Essek smiled at the request to learn Undercommon. "I would be more than happy to teach you Undercommon, if you will teach me some Zemnian. You know, Chathiu? It means Firefly-- I hope that it is alright, if I call you that? I think it is because in the darkness, you still manage to glow-- which is why my mind so readily assigned that name to you."

"I think a home might need to come first," he said with a soft chuckle, ducking his head forward. A few bangs fell in front of his face and he looked at Essek between them. "You have called me home but I think I would like to find a proper building for us. I admit, I don't know where. I haven't thought too hard. I've been busy thinking of seeing you again."

It was hard to focus on work or anything else because he wanted to see Essek again so badly. How strange that someone he had only known for a short time had become so important to him. Caleb wanted that future to include Essek however the drow liked, however he wanted.

The nickname, firefly, made him blush a little. It was so sweet and tender. "I don't mind. I don't mind at all. You are... my starlight. If that is alright with you."

Because well, it felt fitting. The paleness of Essek's hair, the brightness of his eyes, and the gentle twilight of his skin. He was starlight for meditating at night and existing more under the stars than the sun. He was starlight in contrast to Caleb's own burning bright sun.

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